So oddly enough it seems I only have a truly bustling social life once every few months. This weekend was one of them. Shopping with my sister Friday afternoon, coffee in South Side in the evening with a friend, then we got hungry and went out for wings afterward. Saturday was brunch with friends at a fantastic Pittsburgh diner, then a beautiful bridal shower for a friend from church...and an impromptu stop in an antique store where I found what I think is a third edition of Little Women. Copyright 1896. It's a beauty--and my third copy.
It's raining softly outside now, a traditional roast chicken Sunday dinner is in the works, and my grandmother's coming over. And have I mentioned it just smells like spring? It's so wonderful. I even took a cat-nap this afternoon--proof that this weekend was draining for this introvert.
It was bitter-sweetly draining in another way, this full, blessed weekend. In the course of twenty-four hours, my lack of relationship status slapped me in the face in the midst of smiling wide and being oh-so glad for dear friends who have great guys in their lives. Now don't get me wrong--I'm not the type to wallow in my singleness day in and day out. Honestly? I don't think about my singleness every day. I admit to thinking of the guy I'll marry/praying for him every day--but this weekend was just a lot.
I'm not so self-absorbed I turn eevery conversation with my non-single friends (aka the majority) to my singleness. That's not me. And I love being kept up to speed about all the details of burgeoning romances and firsts. I really do--I'm a hopeful/hopeless romantic. My pain level hasn't been bad at all this weekend--grateful for cortisone shots!--but my heart's been sore. Worn. A bit tired.
|via Ann Voskamp|
But this is how great God is--time with Him in worship at church, and the tail-end of the sermon just cut me right to the quick. How near He is. How He sees me--trust me. Stark difference in how I see myself/my life. Down in junior high, the pastor spoke about David and how God looks at the heart and sees us with such value, even when what we see in the mirror or in our circumstances doesn't seem all that hot.
Thriving now means not letting the things I want make me forget the things I already have. Wonderful friends, a great job, a bright and full future with not one but two gifts upcoming in 2015 I did not see coming. Listening to the Voice of Truth, speaking truth to myself, owning my life and letting myself cry it out once in awhile because it's healing.